Carlisle: Jasper, would you mind to join me at hospital tomorrow? We could need another hand, since it's the annual blood donation day.
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Emmett: I do not feel like laughing right now
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Bella: Damn, that backpacker smelled so tasty, and I slipped and now our family photograph will be ruined
Edward: Don't worry honey, our Canon Powershot has red eye reduction.
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Alice: I proudly announce mufti friday at the Cullen's
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Emmett: Sorry, Rose I'm not in the mood, headache. You know...
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Edward: You know Charlie, your daughter, she has been always very beautiful, but since I changed her... I mean since she is not human any.... I mean since she became a vam..... I mean she a lot hotter now and each night we can't stop...
Charlie: NEED TO KNOW, NEED TO KNOW (gets a heart-attack)
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Aro: Yes, and when you join us you get supplementary dental insurance, thirteenth salary and can use the dungeon spa area
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Esme: Hi Emmet dear, how were the bears?
Emmet: Tasted like chicken
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Carlisle: What's that Italian number on the phone bill?
Jasper: Heidi's delivery service...
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EDIT:
@ CantBreathe:
No I do not work for Canon (but I won't mind
) It's just my favorite cam.